I want to be a writer. I am currently more of a social worker in my employment. It makes me question everything. How did I end up working in public housing? Sometimes I feel trapped and overwhelmed by the enormous needs of the communities and families. I pray to be released, but the answer always comes back not yet. I was so frustrated that I just asked God why he derailed my career plans. His reply was that he is always among the broken, so that’s where he placed me. I know from experience God uses ordinary people to do extraordinary things, but I want to be a writer.
Today is my 40th birthday and I realize time goes by quickly and you can’t get it back. My son turned 18 nine days ago and I’ve been trying to give him wisdom from lessons of adulthood I’ve learned. He has a dream of being a music producer. I support my kid’s dreams, because it means a lot to a child to have parental support for almost impossible things. I now have many children across communities. Some neglected by young mothers who need armfuls of love to impact their situations. I never planned on having children and it’s ironic I now have hundreds. I hug them, ask how their day was, correct them when necessary and so on and so forth. I don’t even know how I got to this place, I just know the bible says the steps of the righteous are divinely ordered.
I want to write not for entertainment, but for impact. I was praying and thinking about tag lines yesterday. My original plan was to try and write funny blogs about my marriage. As I was praying yesterday, God just reminded me there’s not much humor in dysfunctional relationships. If you haven’t already figured it out, he’s derailing my blog plan. The divorce rate in this country is extremely high. I wonder if Americans realize the value of family. I pray every day for mine to be restored, because I didn’t know its value. My writing just may impact some person to fight like hell to save their family, even when the mountain looks unclimbable.
What makes my life unconventional? So many things. I raised two boys in sometimes extremely hard circumstances. There are reasons why women write angry songs. I left them to fly across an ocean to find love. I was my own immigration attorney for five years. I was homeless. I am finding healing in brokeness. I know how to arrange words so that they linger after I’m gone. I know where broken hearts go. I’m sure my new tagline will reveal something only I can do. Every life has a unique purpose.
For now, I will keep moonlighting as a social worker with no formal training or education. This is another reason I have so many prayers. I want to be free to live out my vision of me in cafes cranking out compelling stories. I want to write a novel that a reader can’t put down. This talent I was given is demanding attention, yet so are all those children. I also have single mothers in a program that guides them toward self-sufficiency. If you have an opportunity to help these communities, please do so. The smallest contribution has great effects. The work is exhausting and most times you feel like you’re spinning your wheels. Then in a flash, someone got a GED, several more are graduating college and another found a job. Thank God for my small staff who labor with me every day!
I’ll keep chasing my dream with the same compassionate heart. I may be the only chance of knowing God’s love some of these people may have. There is a gospel song that sings; AsI look back over my life and I think things over. I can truly say that I’ve been blessed. I’ve got a testimony. I have a story to tell through pictures and words, it’s called The Unconventional Life.
The Unconventional Life 