I would like to introduce you to my dog Bruno. This is the cute little face my husband came up the steps with when he returned in October.
The back story is that everyone had wanted a pet for the last four years, but no consensus had been reached. I being the only source of estrogen in the house wanted a small dog or an independent cat who required little care. My three men as I call them wanted a large dog, a pit bull. So we argued and argued and I ended each argument by putting my foot down with a vehement no.
And then there was Bruno, a pit/lab mix. This was my husband’s way of saying I am the man, head of household, running the show up in here up in here spouse. This is our new order. He of course will never admit this lol. I took the cute little puppy and gave the hubby my list of I will nots.
Slowly but surely my husband slacked on his puppy duties. Bruno was not house trained and that was my first I will not. Hubby got tired of constant clean up and protested. “Y’all play with the dog, but you won’t help me clean up after him. That’s not right.” I am now realizing my Nigerian husband is using southern terms like y’all, which is very amusing. He also argues like an African. This can mean very long debates. He finds these amusing as we suffer through them and we all begin to yell like banshees just to drown him out.
He said to me on a Friday night, you get to sleep in on Saturday while I have to go to work. Screech, back up! What? I informed him that he had single handedly taken away all my sleeping in by deciding to get a dog all by himself. The extra responsibility was too much. That I had no me time cause even the dog looks to me for food when I get home and that because of his male ego he had altered my life without my permission. Did I mention you don’t accuse a proud African of having ego issues? Yeah definitely not supposed to do that. He took Bruno to go sleep on the couch, which was not nice because they are my source of warmth at night lol. He texts me from the basement he had put my puppy up for adoption on Craigslist.
Exclusive ownership of Bruno can shift depending on the situation. Since we weren’t sure of Bruno’s fate, I packed a back pack with snacks for both of us and rolled out. Dogs on hikes can’t be adopted.. We sat by a beautiful lake, ate our snacks and made our way home.
I came in my room to pray. Arguing over stupid stuff was becoming annoying. Of course I was pointing the finger at the husband who had accused me of complaining too much. I was like Jesus does he know my struggle? I’m tired, always on, cleaning, cooking…… I am American! I have a job too! As I flipped through my normal chapters for encouraging words I found none. Isaiah, psalms, proverbs…..nothing. So I started reading chapters you never hear about Jude, Philemon….nothing. Let me show you where I end up.
Philippians 2:14 – Do everything without complaining or arguing.
I exhaled. Why was I in trouble? Is this seriously the verse you want me to focus on? I was not the only one guilty. I took another breath and accepted the correction. My actions had not been the greatest. I shifted my focus.
The greatest gift to a relationship is to focus on improving yourself. You can’t force the other to change, they have to want change. I shifted my focus to being grateful. My list of to dos has not gotten shorter, but that is no longer my focus. Arguing over stupid stuff caused a separation and the worst year. A year we can’t get back. As I went through that struggle I decided I wanted to change me. I wanted others to be happy to be in my life.
As I sit typing this blog my husband is washing my car for me. He fixes anything that is broken. We all have food and shelter. We are a family. There is laughter, peace and love flowing through my home. There used to be so much strife. We have a family pet who loves walks, runs and hikes.
Nope I won’t complain.
The Unconventional Life 
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