It has been 12 months of heaviness like standing beneath an avalanche that suddenly falls from the highest peak. Preceded by six years of turmoil. Heaviness came to rest here.
I’ve been crying Abba have mercy on me. Everything is too much. As I was praying Jesus appeared in a vision with an overflowing basket of fruit. All kinds of fruit and he gave it to me. The second basket he gave to me was overflowing with red grapes and a vineyard appeared. I ran free in a white dress. I felt freedom. Freedom from burdens. Freedom from sadness. Freedom from anxiety. Freedom from despair. And I ran not once looking back.
Recently I took a yin class that focused on hope. Tonight a woman named Hope prayed for me. The significance being most days I’m questioning am I going to make it because of the hopelessness I feel. I’ve learned to pay attention to small details.
I understood that the vineyard meant to read John 15. I understood that John 15 meant to rest in Jesus. There is very little rest or peace these days. Hope prayed that peace would stay with me.
Today I felt disconnected and isolated. I felt heavy. Then I thought why am I carrying these burdens given to me by other people. Situations that my own actions didn’t cause I’ve been carrying on my slumped shoulders. I’m exhausted.
Branches are connected to the vine. They must remain connected to live and produce fruit. Occasionally they are pruned. My decisions could use some pruning. No longer will I allow people to project negative statements over me. I won’t unfairly carry other’s problems. I won’t exhaust myself finding solutions to everything and I will no longer suffer from anxiety due to people’s choices.
John 15:11 – I have told you these things so that you can have the same joy I have and so that your joy will be the fullest possible joy.
My word today was overboard. Anything or anyone that does not add to my life got thrown off my virtual boat. I. Let. Go.
The Unconventional Life 
Recent Comments