In March last year my staff and I met with the executive team. I was given 12 months notice my job was ending. That day felt like the rescue team had finally found me. I have never had such negative work experiences as my last two jobs. I felt unshackled on this day. Last week it hit me I was almost at the 90 day mark. I began to become afraid and then I remembered.
I had gotten a license plate message a few days before my almost panic attack. Simultaneously I have been ending one job and beginning another as Executive Director of STORY. I never saw myself as a visionary before. I was always the planner. Give me your vision and I will give you the steps and supportive lighting needed to make that dream come to life. I’m good, no great at that. My comfort zone, but am I growing here? Am I challenged here? What began to happen when God made me the visionary?
I was like Gary Coleman lol. “Say what Anna? You mixed up your people! This is the introvert that likes to stay behind the scenes.”
Kathryn tell your story.
I found myself surrounded by children. Their faces keeping me up at night. I had to find a solution for them. I had to find funding for myself, assistant and intern. Woah! I shared my concerns at a prayer meeting. My brain was not accepting this new role. I wanted to be a part of a community relations team, but I along with the Executive Director of the housing authority had just founded a new organization. The minister wrote a scripture on a piece of paper and brought it over to me.
Philippians 4:7 – And God’s peace, which is so great we cannot understand it, will keep your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.
She simply said, “Kathryn you were made to do this. Confess this over yourself.”
I wanted to protest, but……
And…..
And…
And…
I couldn’t. I couldn’t walk away from these kids that needed someone to be their collective voice. These are the kids that are stereotyped because they live in public housing. These are the kids that show up every day despite the odds. Our goal was to register 25. We currently have 43. I went over the limit. And then….
I told my story just like God asked me to. I had to live in transitional housing with my first son. My life completely fell apart and I was hopeless and tired. I prayed for a free place to live and it showed up. I was given a whole team to help me put my life back together. It took almost two years. I was the one all those years ago that advocated for the homeless.
We received our first grant from the Cameron Foundation. This Thursday I will receive our second grant from the John Randolph Foundation. No one knew except those very close to me how hard last year was for me personally, but I tried to remain focused on my work. I am very humbled by the amount of support being given to me.
This month I have been really contemplating situations, habits and people in my life. I’ve always had lingering doubt. I don’t want that anymore. There are several things I don’t want anymore. Lack of belief, fear and anxiety are stumbling blocks I’m hoping to hurdle this year.
Everything is on the line. It’s coming down to the wire. I’m staring at Goliath in the form of not enough funding. I’m shouting at the mountain to move out of my way. I’m but one person in a universe of many. My hands reach back for theirs and we go forward together.
The Unconventional Life 