Tag: crystal healing

Before It Gets Beautiful 

by The Unconventional Life, posted in Inspiration, mental health, mindfulness, Spirituality, Uncategorized

Today I find myself surrounded by the mountains of Roanoke, Virginia. I have been desiring to be in the mountains for months. When everything around me is swirling in madness my soul tells me to run into nature to find peace. The beauty of mountains is always my first choice.

I feel like I have been seated in the middle of a whirlwind for too long. I reconciled with the Haitian only to have to leave again yesterday. It’s amazing what can happen in 24 hours. We were waiting on takeout a couple of weeks ago and he said, “It’s been over a year with us and you keep fighting me.” I told him his craziness always caused me to leave. Inviting this level of drama into my life becomes exhausting.

I began to think of us as animals. I see myself as an eagle that needs to reach a higher altitude. I can’t continue to let people or circumstances keep me from the journey I must travel . Even if I love them. Even if we’re so strongly connected I feel like I’m looking into a mirror in his eyes. Eagles don’t change altitudes to mingle with chickens . I keep telling him this, but he isn’t strong enough to tell the people in his life he has a separate journey to travel. I look at how unproductive these people make him and it makes me very sad. I can’t remain in a rut with someone just because I love them. Stagnant things eventually die.

I was experiencing anxiety again a few days ago and I heard so clearly perfect love casts out all fear . 

1 John 4:18 – There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear involves punishment, so the one who is afraid is not perfected in love.

I stood where I was trying to make sense of what I was hearing. I knew Jude had come into my life to teach me how to love differently. I just honestly don’t understand what I am supposed to do. How does one become perfected in love? I do yoga, try to practice peace when anger is telling me to punch someone, I give until I have nothing sometimes. Yet he still makes me afraid. We are together and the fear returns every time. I am not perfected in love. He is not willing to change at the moment. Do either of us even know what divine love is or how to give it?

I put reiki candles and crystals in his room recently. I bought us both meditation incense. My brain was saying create peace around him so you will have peace. I forgot to burn the damn sage lol. I’ve been scrambling to place this here and put that there and fix this and so on and so forth. I think I’ve been trying to build a fortress of sorts to make myself feel safe. I suppose love can’t enter a fortress. 

I took this picture of him last weekend on our way from breakfast. I had really wanted to say hey babe let’s take a silly selfie, but I was afraid. I was too afraid to ask him to take a picture and I really don’t know why. 

So here we are separated again as we were making preparations to leave the country. I asked my journal last night if yesterday morning was the last time I would see Jude. Then I stumbled across Oprah youtube videos with Dr. Michael Beckwith about vibrational frequencies and empowering questions. This morning I wrote the empowering questions without the low vibrational frequencies. I travel this path alone cause it’s sounding a little crazy and I think my kid needs to go to church more lol. I had an epiphany one day though. Anyone who encounters God encounters a powerful energetic force that completely changes them. That force draws you in even if you’re hiding in a fortress.

I see colors, light and energy connecting myself and the Haitian . He commented about the crystals and candles without completely giving me the whole story. Amethyst, jade, selenite and more are now on his nightstand. My soul knows he’s already been where I need to go spiritually. Even down to becoming a pescatarian. I also know in the natural I am where he needs to be. He said he would show me the meaning of energy when we got to Haiti.

Super Soul Sunday 

I don’t know what needs to happen for this to work. I feel like it’s supposed to work. I feel like each has what the other needs. Hopefully soon it will be as beautiful as it is in my visions and dreams. 

Ebb and Flow

by The Unconventional Life, posted in Faith, Hope, Inspiration, mental health, Relationships, Spirituality

I know I’m somewhere in between faith and anxiety. Like the needle in a half full tank of gas. Trust and faith are definitely obstacles I’ve been trying to get beyond for quite a long time. As I was thinking about my struggle it occurred to me I link God to the actions of people. Someone hurts me I link it to God. Someone disappoints me I link it to God. I pondered why I was doing this, but couldn’t really determine the reason. I concluded that this was a behavior that needed to change since it wasn’t making much sense to me.

In May I had to break up with the Haitian. Loving someone doesn’t mean giving them permission to mistreat you. May was a very long month! Tons of anxiety. Tons of prayer. Days of crying. As I was fleeing to yoga class the day after the break up, one of those random license plate moments occurred. Gud4you pulled right in front of me. I couldn’t even believe it. I was like Jesus I’m down here about to lose it and you’ve got jokes today, not cool.

I was basically on autopilot for a month missing the Haitian. I am mindful when anxiety is in overdrive I can really be a handful to deal with for those around me. Thankfully I had people who were very patient with me.

There was one day where I got up and immediately layed on the floor crying. Wailing would be a better description. The ache of missing that person was unbearable. Remembering so many fun times was unbearable. So I just kept crying asking God why he gave me someone to take them away so quickly. See there’s that linking behavior of mine. So if you’ve never gotten on God’s nerves as I frequently do try to remain that way. I very clearly heard him first ask me why I was crying so much. Secondly he reminded me on April 1st that he warned me the Haitian would act crazy for about 60 days or so. Third, he said he hadn’t taken anything and to get off the floor and stop crying. Of course I managed to sit against the wall with more of a muffling whimper after hearing an exasperated tone of voice. All the while still trying to free myself from panic attacks.

God gave me psalm 143 and I prayed it every morning. He told me to write miracles would happen on my calendar for the month of June. I received four by the last day of June.

  • Haitian returns.
  • Son gets misdemeanors not felonies.
  • Haitian sees his son.
  • Unexpected financial blessing.

Matthew 21:22 – Believe you will receive everything you ask for in prayer.

We were doing awesome and I was cautiously happy. He hugged me one day and said, “Baby I’m doing the best I can.” I replied, “I know that’s why you give me anxiety.”

It’s July and our crazy cycle continues. We’re not speaking right now, but love flows. I can feel it. I had my chakras balanced for the first time a couple of days ago. Crazy equals low energy for me. After my session I was told everything would be ok. Indeed he promised me it would with teary eyes. So I pray for him and myself to get it right. He said the other day I stop, he stops, but the time around us keeps us moving forward together. May everything merge into divine harmony soon.

Crystals and reiki candles to keep my solar plexus and sacral chakras balanced.

I prayed John 15:7 this morning fully believing my last name will be Thermitus in 2017 just like we planned. He loves me especially different and I’m totally crazy about the guy who fries me octopus in swimming trunks.