Tag: love

The Mighty Mouse Moment

by The Unconventional Life, posted in christianity, Faith, Marriage, Relationships, Uncategorized

Last Saturday was just like any other until my husband called on his way back from work. He had gotten a flat tire on the highway and asked if I’d come and get him. I was almost passed out from a HIIT workout I had just completed, but I answered yes right away. No time for showers or catching breath! He had called me and I was super excited.

Here I come to save the day!

I’m flying down 95 South like I drive for Nascar weaving through cars driving at a turtle’s pace. Ok, maybe they were doing the speed limit, but I had an emergency. I see my husband on the side of the road and I join him with absolutely no plan. I do not know how to change flat tires, but being there for support counts right? Lol! Luckily, he had a plan and an emergency roadside kit in his car. I do not have such kit and became a bit concerned about my lack of preparedness. We managed to get to a tire repair shop and all was well. I could tell it mattered to him that I dropped everything to make his situation my priority. I was beyond happy. I had not too long ago read a verse that said if your brother has need do not send them away if you are able to help. I made a mental note of that verse and hoped I’d get an opportunity to do something for my husband.

On Sunday I came home from church and his car was in the driveway. It was like a small miracle. He and my son were doing something I needed help with. He didn’t stay long and we looked like orphans as we watched him drive off. A few minutes later I got a text with an apology for the short stay and that he was thinking of coming back. I replied that I wanted him to come back of course with a thankful heart.

One small act of kindness has made a small shift in the dynamics of my marriage. I am so happy I have learned that your spouse needs to be your priority no matter how small or great their need is. I am making the decision to do my best to be there for my husband even if it involves things like flat tires.

I’ve reflected so many times on the possibility of losing my best friend. Even at the bleakest times I tried to find some shred of hope to hang on to. What could possibly top the love I flew to another continent alone to find. Pretty much nothing. It’s been a really good week and I’ll make every effort to keep us moving in this direction. You should never let valuable relationships slip away when they are worth saving.

Make Me Feel Beautiful

by The Unconventional Life, posted in Marriage, Relationships, Uncategorized

He asked had anyone told me I was beautiful on that day.
I replied no as my mind tried to recall the last time I had heard the word in reference to me.
He said, “Well let me be the one to remind you, you’re beautiful.”
A smile instantly appeared on my face
Replacing so many frowns and creased brows.
He makes me feel beautiful.
He holds doors and pulls out chairs for me
And I feel special
I feel like a lady.
He finds my mind intriguing and wants to memorize the vessels in the chambers of my heart,
But it’s on life support now.
I say I have nothing to offer but brokenness
He says you’re beautiful.
I think he’s insane,
But I just want to feel beautiful.
I want to know what it feels like for a man to know my worth.
I want to be dependent on appreciation, love and arms to hold me.
I miss being held and being asked to make love.
I remember what it’s like to make love
It makes me feel beautiful.
Secretly I’m a hopeless romantic.
I want to fall into the fairytale in my imagination and never leave
Prince Charming doesn’t have to be perfect just willing
Willing to wake me with kisses and pull me into a space reserved only for me
Willing to take long walks holding my hand
Willing to take risks and try new things so life never gets boring
Willing to love me as I solve the broken puzzle pieces of myself.
With tears staining my cheeks my eyes say
Make me feel beautiful
Remind me that I am priceless
Say there is only one Kathryn and
Let me rest in an embrace just for awhile.
Its been a long December,
Just let me rest here in an embrace just for awhile.

Sometimes Your Most Painful Loss Can Be Your Greatest Gain

by The Unconventional Life, posted in Uncategorized

I created this blog to share my funny stories about being married to a foreigner. I thought it would be fun to blog the craziness, but shortly after my first post the bottom dropped out of my marriage, heart and soul. I’ve been wondering what to do with this blog. What can one do, but go with the plot twist.

Separation ranks at the top of the most difficult things I have ever had to do. Thank God for a therapist! My first question to my therapist was if I could be selfish. If I could only take care of me, because I didn’t have the energy to do anything else. Not even take care of my kids at the usual level. Thankfully he said yes and we’ve been working on me every two weeks. Pulling up wounds from the roots is hard work, but I’m expecting a beautiful garden in the spring.

I remember when the teetering started in February. I slumped down a wall and told God it would kill me to have to watch him walk out the door and I wept. I still weep. I took the easiest route by packing a suitcase and leaving before I had to watch that scene. A person’s missing presence in a home will make you find strength that you didn’t know existed.

I’m thankful for prayers and Jesus. I know what it’s like to have him wipe every tear just like the song says. Marriage is hard, especially when there are cultural behaviors you don’t understand and neither party had great examples to reference.

I came to realize how much I neglected myself in all this. Every day is not sunshine. Some days are extremely difficult. You know there will be no one to ask how your day went or put their arms around you on a winter night. Occasionally the pain in your heart becomes so great you need someone to share its weight.

I found a promise to cling to during this season of my life. Psalm 71:21-22 says, “You have allowed me to suffer much hardship, but you will restore me to life again and lift me up from the depths of the earth. You will restore me to even greater honor and comfort me once again.”

I now find it amusing that I use to live on multi-year plans. You can’t edit out a tremendous heartbreak, but you can choose to live and let broken pieces heal. You can search for root causes like I am doing, so that you do not carry junk into the next relationship. You can choose to hope in the midst of desolation. You can choose to let the light and warmth of love flood your heart again because it feels so very good.

Choices are intentional. Make good ones.